Authentic Leadership, The Conditioned Mind

Building Trust and Confidence

“A leader is a decision maker”, rolls off the Colorado cowboy’s tongue as he began our puppy training class.

During two hours of lectures and exercises I was continually struck by the parallel between his philosophy of building a relationship with animals through love, trust and respect and my view of the human’s journey to cultivate these same elements through building a nonjudgmental relationship with the mind.

The invitation remains the same; to experience true freedom and inner peace through cultivating a relationship with a ‘willful being’ whether it’s labeled a dog or the human mind.

Welcome Everything-Avoid Nothing:

This dog training’s philosophy is, ‘create every problem you can in order to teach your dog proper response’. In other words, don’t avoid or control the environment but rather use everything as an opportunity to teach, expand the dog’s capacity to  build confidence and to respond to the unexpected.

It seems to me that if we can cultivate this same philosophy and commitment to meet our daily circumstances directly as they arise, while we learn how to increase our capacity to respond, we may organically dissolve any need to avoid or control our lives.

The waves of change, transition, death, emotions, loss and fears will come and go.

As we expand our awareness of the thought patterns and beliefs that create automatic guarding and reactions we simultaneously increase our confidence to ride the waves of life.

What do we believe in the moments that we suffer? What are we feeling on a sensation level in our body?  In essence what is the whole system reporting to us?

Reclaim Our Innocence:

Innocently, as a survival strategy, many of us have been trained to avoid feeling particular experiences.  In this denial we silently dread these ‘dark’ knocks on our door.  Does it help to deny the likelihood that these feelings or reactions will come and go?

What would it be like to apply this dog training view to no longer exert the energy of control to avoid what life offers?

Welcome new circumstances and change with the intent of learning how to respond with an open-heart and non-judgmental mind.

This type of ‘meeting’ doesn’t come through philosophy or intellectual discussion but rather stopping all distractions to have direct contact with the body sensations, thoughts, beliefs and stories that arise from a trigger.

We live in a fast paced world and stopping to investigate may not always be available to us in that moment.  That’s okay, we can still hold the discipline and dedication to create space, even five minutes, at another time to revisit and be with the experience fully.

To a part of us this is very risky to engage in a full body experience of meeting ‘the terror we fear will send us to an institution’ or ‘the grief we fear will irreversibly shred out heart into the land of no return’.

It’s Our Choice:

Do we want to align with these stories, which are merely concepts in the mind, or go directly to reality?  Does our heart really shred into a million shards of glass when we say goodbye to someone we love?

It’s our choice.

We can live in the truth of our immediate experience or in the illusion of the mind’s idea of what it will be like or perhaps once was in the past.

The Whispers of Distraction:

It takes dedication to be loyal to this kind of practice when we are surrounded by a culture that often says in a low whisper, ‘distract’; have a drink, go on a retreat, put more hours in at work.

The whisper of distraction is a unique voice and strategy for each of us.   The practice of being present to our immediate experience without judgment reveals the strategies of this voice.  With this clear seeing and acceptance we can choose something else or simply choose it with consciousness.

This is how we build confidence t0 meet whatever arises, like the puppy learning through direct experience.  It’s a continual choice to return to being intimate with and to receive all aspects of our lives. Even the ones that feel so challenging or painful like transitions, illness or loss.

As we learn to respond to that which arises in our daily life without our manipulation or guarding against we receive the gift of unshakable confidence that we can meet anything that arises even when it hurts.

Through this practice I have learned that the very idea of what I think will hurt the most never appears as I imagined and while there are experiences of grief, anger and other emotional reactions, when it’s fully received there is the following of a vibrant rainbow dancing inside as I cultivate the gifts of such a journey.

14 Responses to “Building Trust and Confidence”

  1. On JanMonUTC at JanMonUTC Scott responded with... #

    Wonderful insights. Thanks for sharing them.

  2. On AprTueUTC at AprTueUTC Dora responded with... #

    Walking in the presence of giants here. Cool thinking all arunod!

  3. On AprTueUTC at AprTueUTC drayovchf responded with... #

    Y48AmI puihihazrzmf

  4. On JunSunUTC at JunSunUTC difference between google plus and facebook responded with... #

    Hi my friend! I wish to say that this article is amazing, nice written and include approximately all
    important infos. I would like to see more posts like this .

  5. On JulThuUTC at JulThuUTC http://Eleanorawagenblast.Wordpress.Com/ responded with... #

    I read this piece of writing fully about the comparison of latest and earlier technologies,
    it’s remarkable article.

    My webpage … http://Eleanorawagenblast.Wordpress.Com/

  6. On JulMonUTC at JulMonUTC Breast Implants Toronto responded with... #

    Hey! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before
    but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to me.
    Nonetheless, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be book-marking
    and checking back often!

    Feel free to visit my web-site: Breast Implants Toronto

  7. On JulThuUTC at JulThuUTC Cierra responded with... #

    Hi there to all, for the reason that I am truly keen of reading this weblog’s post to be
    updated daily. It contains fastidious information.

  8. On JulFriUTC at JulFriUTC bodyweight exercises responded with... #

    First of all I want to say fantastic blog! I had
    a quick question that I’d like to ask if you don’t mind. I was interested to find out how
    you center yourself and clear your thoughts prior to
    writing. I’ve had a difficult time clearing my mind in getting my ideas out.

    I do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10
    to 15 minutes are lost just trying to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations or hints?

  9. On AugSatUTC at AugSatUTC Ian responded with... #

    Thanks for ones marvelous posting! I genuinely enjoyed reading it, you might be
    a great author. I will be sure to bookmark your blog and
    definitely will come back from now on. I want to encourage you continue your great work, have a
    nice morning!

  10. On AugSatUTC at AugSatUTC Salina responded with... #

    Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and
    wanted to say that I have truly enjoyed surfing around your blog
    posts. After all I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write
    again very soon!

  11. On AugSunUTC at AugSunUTC responded with... #

    I blog frequently and I really appreciate your information. This article has truly peaked my interest.
    I’m going to book mark your website and keep checking for new
    details about once a week. I subscribed to your Feed as well.

    Here is my webpage

  12. On AugWedUTC at AugWedUTC yahoo responded with... #

    I think this is one of the most significant information for me.
    And i’m glad reading your article. But wanna remark on few general things, The site style is perfect,
    the articles is really nice : D. Good job, cheers

  13. On JunTueUTC at JunTueUTC cleaning carpet brisbane responded with... #

    No matter if some one searches for his required thing, therefore he/she
    wishes to be available that in detail, so that thing is
    maintained over here.

  14. On JunThuUTC at JunThuUTC Smithd9 responded with... #

    This kind of game gives a real experience of akgkeeafcfdbccde

Add your response