Conflict & Communication, The Conditioned Mind

‘Whac-A-Mole’, a Mirror of the Conditioned Mind!

What does it feel like when you push away what’s true for you, or find it difficult to connect to a deeper part of you?

Maybe you don’t want to jeopardize a relationship when you feel you need to stay connected, even when there isn’t a deeper alignment with your integrity, vision or how they are showing up to meet you.  For me, if something is at risk, and I don’t have the space for self-inquiry, I may feel confused, self-judgment, contracted or disconnected.  That’s not fun!

What does it feel like when you have clarity, speak what is most important to you and hear what is most important to those you are in conversation with?

In my experience, I feel in integrity and spacious.  My heart is open and receptive; even when others don’t agree or feel triggered by what I share.

Do you notice if you change your inner experience based on whom you are talking with such as clients, family, or business partners?  If you said yes, what might be at stake?  Is it the potential loss of a client, disconnection with someone you love, jeopardizing a promotion, or the protection of an identity you cling to, consciously or unconsciously, in order to feel protected?

The image that arises for me is the “Whac-A-Mole” game, do you remember this? Here is a video of a ‘Whac-A-Mole Champion’; can you believe there is such a thing?  I think it is hilarious!

Here’s how it works: There is a playing board with 6 holes and a hammer.  The object is to ‘whack’ the mole with the hammer when its head pops up.  It all happens at warp speed. A mole pops up, grabs your attention and by the time you’ve whacked, and usually missed, it pops up somewhere else.

The strategy of “Whac-A-Mole” is not much different than the strategy of the mind!  The conditioned mind is constantly pulling us in a new direction.  In the midst of this endless pursuit we forget the ground on which we stand and what is actually most important to us.  The mind is influenced by many factors.

One of the conditioned mind’s tricks is expressed through the view we hold of the world, for example:

  • Our beliefs about how we or other people ‘should behave’
  • The trap of right or wrong
  • A disconnection from our emotions and the subtle ways they express themselves anyway!
  • Trying to be perfect
  • Unconscious expectations
  • “If only I had _____(fill in the blank) I would be happy.”
  • Blaming others or ourselves for how our life is unfolding
  • How we should respond to other’s needs before our own.The conditioned mind may subtly say: we should help anyone in need before we find out what we need; people should be helping us more, no one really cares; we can’t trust anyone to do it the ‘right’ way so we become a responsibility hoard and do it all ourself!
  • Are you getting the flavor of what I’m talking about?

    This tendency to ‘whac-our-life’ in pursuit of meeting the demands of the conditioned mind doesn’t allow us to rest into just ‘being’.  When I move from a place of internal rest I resource wisdom rather than conditioned mind.

    What do I mean by internal rest?  For me it looks like growing my awareness around my mind’s particular language and patterns so I can witness how it speaks.  The resting comes when I learn not to whack but to listen, sit back and move from a deeper place.

    Rather than furiously whack away I now have the space to create more conscious conversations, speak what is true in a loving way, experience greater freedom, connectedness and ease.

    Do you have any whacking stories you want to share?

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