I have been enjoying a rich life as a leadership consultant and executive coach. It’s deeply satisfying and inspiring to participate in a catalytic movement with leaders who want to access their presence and wisdom as the foundation from which they create and lead. I recently took a significant professional (and personal) leap when I launched my new business, Your Erotic Nature. I’m passionate about this because I know what becomes possible when we know how to access our creative life force of erotic aliveness.
Feminine ways of leading are often ridiculed and diminished, even by those of us who want to embody them! This is the impact of conditioned beliefs and world views of reality. The good news, is that these outdated scripts can all be rewritten. I’ve been on a beautiful and gritty ride as I unravel the stronghold these beliefs have had on my freedom to wholeheartedly express myself and come out of hiding.
To be fully in touch with our “self” is a dynamic and ever-evolving journey. There is no end point to self-discovery and embodiment. The system in which we create and operate in with our partners, and all the people in our lives, is a manifestation of how we operate within ourselves. No two connections are alike because each person brings their own operating system and beliefs about how a relationship engages and sustains itself. Our level of self-awareness, and our ability to take ownership for the stress and reactive patterns that drive our behavior and expectations of others, is the fuel to how we operate in relationships every day.
Did you know that your brain and nervous system are constantly looking for protection and connection? We long for relationship, bonding, and intimacy, yet our limbic and reptilian brains scan for threat and safety 24/7. They track for perceived threats for our physical safety, but also for threats to our sense of belonging, self-image, or emotional integrity
What does it mean to be an integrated human? As humans we are incredibly resilient creatures with hearts, longings, fears, anxiety, perseverance and experiences of strong emotions and pain. We are multi-faceted and complex and yet the path to our healing can be very simple. Simple in theory and yet the application may require us to focus and commit to a larger story of our unique self and the collective unfolding.
Anger is something that everyone experiences, at one level or another, and it needs to be expressed to maintain emotional health and intimacy. Most people have a murky relationship with anger and how to express it in a way that isn’t hurtful to oneself or others.
The journey of the salmon is one of the most amazing phenomena in nature. How is it that after years in the sea, they can locate the exact stream in which they were born and pursue their upstream return home?
People are experiencing burn-out and feelings of uncertainty about how to break out of systems that don’t support their individuality, personal rhythm and unique genius. Burn-out occurs across the board from personal, work, family, community and global systems. Changing a system can feel like pouring honey on a winter camping trip – in its frozen form you don’t access the sweetness.
Have you noticed that the experience of suffering is provoked when we don’t give ourselves, and others, permission to simply be where we are in any given moment before we swiftly demand clarity, decision-making, certainty or assert ourselves into fix-it and change-it mode?
Have you longed for a particular relationship, job, creating a family or a spiritual realization only to discover that after achieving these things you’re still struggling; still not happy? You discover that these accomplishment themselves are not inherently the key to your deeper sense of happiness?
Yesterday I was caught feeling the familiarity and stuckness of a well-worn cycle of longing. This longing has yet to take shape in the practical world. I see glimpses but I don’t abide in this place yet. How often do we sense a longing from deep within and find ourselves gently holding it like an exquisite hummingbird that startles us with her beauty as swiftly as she disappears?
I’m part of a team that has created a 501c3 nonprofit organization, to offer a community service called “Wisdom Labs“. What is a Wisdom Lab?In a Wisdom Lab we invite a ‘stakeholder’ to explore a personal or organizational vision or edge related to their expression in the world.
Last night I was nourished by a home-cooked meal and the wisdom of a dear friend as he shared about his last relationship and the vision he set forth when it ended. Part of his vision was, ‘I want to be attracted to reality not the ‘potential’ of something or someone.’ This resonated deeply for me.
We are all leaders. From executives, parents and teachers to the school bully, leaders of gangs and drug lords. How is that possible? Because every action we take, conscious or unconscious, influences those around us and elicits responses such as love, connectedness, creativity, entitlement, fear and rage.
How do we respond to the uncertainties of life? What happens when we find ourselves in the middle of a transition and we simply haven’t a clue what lies ahead? How do we respond to the parts of us that fear this great unknown and the parts of us that feel enlivened by the untapped possibilities?
Have you noticed that loss, change and transitions invite the opportunity to drop the veils and get down and dirty with what is really important? Simultaneously, what do you notice about all the ways you try not to be where you are, embrace what you’re feeling or face what is in front of you?
I am a volunteer facilitator for a process called, Restorative Justice.
The roots of this process come from the lineage of tribal cultures and the practice of ‘council meetings’. On the surface, the intent is to provide an alternative to the criminal justice system, however, it’s laced with the profound impact of personal transformation, community building and healing.
“A leader is a decision maker”, rolls off the Colorado cowboy’s tongue as he began our puppy training class. During two hours of lectures and exercises I was continually struck by the parallel between his philosophy of building a relationship with animals through love, trust and respect and my view of the human’s journey to cultivate these same elements through building a nonjudgmental relationship with the mind.
Have you ever found yourself sensing that something or someone simply didn’t resonate with you but you bypass this information and listen to what you ‘should do or feel’ instead? This happens everyday. Our mind can be as fast as a hummingbird.
What does it mean when life, as you’ve known it, suddenly changes in a blink of an eye and you find yourself dropped into the desert and the unknown? Or maybe it happens so slowly that you wake up to realize everything in your life has been dying for months or maybe even years. However you find yourself here, you are now standing at the threshold of realizing that what was previously so important to you no longer holds its place on the trophy shelves.
I recently participated in a Hakomi weekend; a somatic based mindfulness-training. The message I received in the stillness and quieting of my mind was,“Just rest. You will know when you need to know”. As my mind spun through the various scenarios in my life that ‘need’ tending or ‘fixing’, this voice stopped me in my tracks. What is most true is that any effort for me ‘to know‘ only prolongs my capacity to feel the gifts in my life right now.
Anxiety and fear are common emotions many of us experience in response to our life circumstances and the uncertainty of transitions and decision points. These emotional states can feel disorienting and we may find ourselves acting out in behaviors or activities that are not healthy or supportive.
To travel the terrain of an authentic leader requires a level of listening, witnessing and an open-heart similar to that of a Samurai. The unwritten Samurai code of conduct, is known as Bushido. The Bushido code holds that the true warrior must possess loyalty, courage, veracity, compassion, and honor as important, above all else. The samurai’s code is in honor of their masters and fellow warriors.
One of the highlights of a trip to Egypt was seeing a mummified alligator in a sacred temple. Quite a contrast from my days living in New Orleans where blackened alligator, colorfully garnished, was served as an ‘exotic’ appetizer.
How do we create more freedom for ourselves and the planet? We are all leaders. From conscious executives, parents and teachers to serial killers and rapist. How is that possible? Because every action we take, conscious or unconscious, influences those around us and elicits many responses such as love, connectedness, creativity, fear and rage.
An authentic leader is someone who understands and practices embracing every moment as an opportunity to make a conscious choice rather than default to a conditioned pattern or the expectations of a culture, company or loved one.
For much of my life I was caught in the web of what I call, ‘The Self-Improvement Campaign’. This ‘campaign’ is the false notion that somehow we are deficient. Therefore, in order to be happy, successful and belong we have to improve ourselves. In the process we compare ourselves to others and the ideas of who we think we should be. What we end up feeling is a disconnect on the inside.
What does it feel like when you push away what’s true for you, or find it difficult to connect to a deeper part of you? Maybe you don’t want to jeopardize a relationship when you feel you need to stay connected, even when there isn’t a deeper alignment with your integrity, vision or how they are showing up to meet you.
How will inviting conscious conversations into your life create more authenticity and joy? Whether we look through the view of building a conscious business, intimate relationships or spiritual transformation, one of the basic tenets for living an authentic life is through allowing our immediate experience and life to be our teacher.
There is a leadership paradigm emerging that calls upon each one of us to muster the courage to bring all of who we are into everything we do; the brilliant parts, the messy parts, the aspects we hide and the traits we feel most proud of. In fact, it’s a requirement for the changes in consciousness that are being called forth today that we expand our awareness to equally welcome our imperfect human behaviors and our divinely inspired expressions.