Feminine ways of leading are often ridiculed and diminished, even by those of us who want to embody them! This is the impact of conditioned beliefs and world views of reality. The good news, is that these outdated scripts can all be rewritten. I’ve been on a beautiful and gritty ride as I unravel the stronghold these beliefs have had on my freedom to wholeheartedly express myself and come out of hiding.
To be fully in touch with our “self” is a dynamic and ever-evolving journey. There is no end point to self-discovery and embodiment. The system in which we create and operate in with our partners, and all the people in our lives, is a manifestation of how we operate within ourselves. No two connections are alike because each person brings their own operating system and beliefs about how a relationship engages and sustains itself. Our level of self-awareness, and our ability to take ownership for the stress and reactive patterns that drive our behavior and expectations of others, is the fuel to how we operate in relationships every day.
What does it mean to be an integrated human? As humans we are incredibly resilient creatures with hearts, longings, fears, anxiety, perseverance and experiences of strong emotions and pain. We are multi-faceted and complex and yet the path to our healing can be very simple. Simple in theory and yet the application may require us to focus and commit to a larger story of our unique self and the collective unfolding.
People are experiencing burn-out and feelings of uncertainty about how to break out of systems that don’t support their individuality, personal rhythm and unique genius. Burn-out occurs across the board from personal, work, family, community and global systems. Changing a system can feel like pouring honey on a winter camping trip – in its frozen form you don’t access the sweetness.
Yesterday I was caught feeling the familiarity and stuckness of a well-worn cycle of longing. This longing has yet to take shape in the practical world. I see glimpses but I don’t abide in this place yet. How often do we sense a longing from deep within and find ourselves gently holding it like an exquisite hummingbird that startles us with her beauty as swiftly as she disappears?
We are all leaders. From executives, parents and teachers to the school bully, leaders of gangs and drug lords. How is that possible? Because every action we take, conscious or unconscious, influences those around us and elicits responses such as love, connectedness, creativity, entitlement, fear and rage.
I recently participated in a Hakomi weekend; a somatic based mindfulness-training. The message I received in the stillness and quieting of my mind was, “Just rest. You will know when you need to know”. As my mind spun through the various scenarios in my life that ‘need’ tending or ‘fixing’, this voice stopped me in my tracks. What is most true is that any effort for me ‘to know‘ only prolongs my capacity to feel the gifts in my life right now.